Fandom

Zero Punctuation Wiki

Dishonored 2

509pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Talk0 Share

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Dishonored 2.

TranscriptEdit

So what happened to all that speckled guff about female characters in gaming? Seems like it wasn't that long ago that people kept going "More female protagonists! Female gamers need characters they can identify with and look up to! 'Cos it's not like themes of adversity and the human condition are fairly universal, no, I can only possibly relate to a character with whom I share some circumstantial physical characteristics, because I'm fucking psychotic." And then the developers said, "Well, okay then, and we'd better dress them up in outfits that show off those circumstantial physical characteristics as much as possible since they're apparently so important" and that if anything made things worse. But you know, I totally agree with this sentiment. After all, I have to have a whiteboard marker on hand when I play Tomb Raider so that I can draw a little moustache and beard on Lara Croft and start giving a shit about her problems, but unless you let the player pick their gender then you're going to have to alienate someone. We should thank Dishonored 2 then for doing just that and postponing the inevitable apocalyptic gender war for another week. 

In Dishonored 2, you can choose the protagonist closest to yourself and avoid being alienated by the thought of having to lug a pair of unwanted ovaries / gormless gonads around. You can be Empress Emily Kaldwin, if you're a girl murderer, or you can be previous Dishonored protagonist Corvo Attano, if you're a boy murderer with absolutely zero sense of narrative structure. For you see, I went with Emily, despite my personal tit deficiency, because that was the better story. After having been a child and amazing human Maguffin in the first game who Corvo had to save and re-save over and over again like an expensive cheese that never gets fully eaten no matter how often we bring it out for guests, Emily is now Empress of Dunwall and ruling it about as well as could be expected from someone who was raised by an authority in throat stabbing and little else, that is to say, she's fully bent over shitting things right up the flagpole, so to speak. She's promptly overthrown in a coup orchestrated by a pair of Disney villains and must prove she has the will to fight for what was originally handed to her on a silver platter and rescue the man who once rescued her. Classic passing of the torch sort of sequel plot. 

Meanwhile, play as Corvo and you get to go through basically the same motions as last time with a bloke with no need for character growth as long as he remembers which end of a knife goes into what squashy bits, so that in the end he can rescue Emily again and resume his position as Royal Arse Wiper General. Still, you might pick him if you want to take a nice hot soapy bath in Stephen Russell's Garrett voice again, which was to my mind a slightly manipulative bit of casting. "Aw, did the Thief reboot piss in your eyes, fans of the Thief series?" it seems to say. "Come over here and let us lick your face clean for a while." Obviously I will, Dishonored 2, but what else are you bringing to the table besides face licking and protagonist with optional number of testicles? "What do you mean, what else? You need more?" 

Yes, besides the evil rats now having been replaced by evil wasps and moving from fantasy Steampunk London to fantasy steampunk Calais, there's probably a Brexit reference in here somewhere, Dishonored 2 is more of Dishonored 1, albeit a bit shorter and without that third act twist I could've seen coming from the International Space Station. More roof-hopping mission-based stealth fun and the tone of the ending depends on whether you solve your problems with artful character assassination or the boring old regular kind. '' Which is not to say there aren't a couple of gimmicks sprinkled hither and thither. In fact, I'm a little bit weirded out by the fact I have played two games in quick succession, this and Titanfall 2, both of which introduce out of nowhere a gadget that lets you switch between two different time periods which you can use for precisely one mission before it disappears down the game's butthole forever. I think you boys had better see me after class, someone has clearly been copying somebody's homework. It's funny how they both do it for only one mission, too. Normally an innovative mechanic like that would have a game entirely based around it first that earns some critical acclaim before bigger studios start ripping it off for one-mission gimmicks like a huge stupid jock trying to memorise one poem to impress the girl he likes but we appear to have entirely skipped that step. Nice to see that the march of progress has brought us new horizons in the field of uncreative hackery if nothing else. 

Otherwise, if you played Dishonored 1 you should already know what to expect; stealth gameplay made fairly uniquely efficient by the addition of a short-range teleport power that can pull you out of sticky situations. Which is only fair because half the time it's the thing that put you in the sticky situation in the first place. I think I must have accidentally condemned the teleport power to twenty years in the Chateau D'If at some point because its revenge was elaborate and well-planned. "You can trust me! I will totally teleport you safely onto that fifth-floor window ledge across the street. A ha! Vengeance is mine! Have fun escaping those ninety-seven police officers with your shin bones sticking our of your armpits, motherfucker!" The stealth is rather unforgiving, get spotted by a police chihuahua and every fucko in a two block radius instantly knows your location and your least favourite place to be stabbed, and getting into combat with any number of fuckos greater than one is like being a hamster trying to navigate its way out of a powered waste disposal unit. 

So I did the non-lethal playthrough first as Emily for the challenge and ending that actually feels like an ending rather than a finger-wagging chastisement to a bad dog who ate all the biscuits, and figured I'd then quickly do a murdery playthrough as Corvo for the fun and to see how things changed. Except two missions into that I stopped, because I wasn't having fun and I felt like I already knew what would change - largely bugger all except my NPC friends would say slightly disapproving things with the neutral expression and monotone voice with which they expressed their undying admiration last time around. 

See, Dishonored 2 doesn't fix the major problem I had with Dishonored 1, which is that the dialogue is about as lively as that of the adults in the Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show. The world building's fine, there's lengthy books on every shelf that the writers clearly put a lot of work into, but there's something so lifeless about most of the characters and their line deliveries, it's like the Borg put on a production of Hamlet. When the guards close in for combat their taunts and threats sound like they're your dentist examining your gum line, and I'm pretty sure every single one of them has the exact same voice, so when you've alerted a bunch and they're all closing in for the kill you get this very surreal experience where they're all drably taunting over each other, it's like hearing a snatch of the voice actor's internal monologue as someone offers him a second piece of cheesecake. Just kills my whole investment in the plot. 

You can have all the passably entertaining gameplay in the world but I find it hard to give a shit when no-one around me seems to. Sort of the opposite of the problem I have with public bathrooms.

AddendaEdit

  • By royal appointment: Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw
  • The only game I ever truly related to was LocoRoco, because I, too, am yellowish, blob-like and have a good singing voice.
  • There's a hole in my larynx, dear Liza, dear Liza
Episodes
2007 - 2010
2007
Q3 The Darkness Demo · Fable: The Lost Chapters · Zero Punctuation (Episode) · Heavenly Sword and Other Stuff · Psychonauts · Console Rundown · BioShock · Tomb Raider: Anniversary · Manhunt · Peggle
Q4 Halo 3 · Tabula Rasa · The Orange Box · Super Paper Mario · Medal of Honor: Airborne · The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass · Clive Barker's Jericho · F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate · Assassin's Creed · Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock · Mass Effect
2008
Q1 Super Mario Galaxy · Silent Hill: Origins · Crysis · The Witcher · Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles · Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare · SimCity Societies · Yahtzee Goes to GDC · Uncharted: Drake's Fortune · Devil May Cry 4 · Burnout: Paradise · Turok · Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure
Q2 Army of Two · No More Heroes · Condemned 2: Bloodshot · Super Smash Bros. Brawl · God of War: Chains of Olympus · Mailbag Showdown · Grand Theft Auto IV · Painkiller · The World Ends With You · The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion · Haze · Metal Gear Solid 4
Q3 Webcomics · Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures · Alone in the Dark · Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures · The E3 Trailer Park · Ninja Gaiden II · Prince of Persia Retrospective · Soulcalibur IV · Braid · EVE Online · Too Human · Spore · XBLA Double Bill
Q4 Mercenaries 2: World in Flames · Star Wars: The Force Unleashed · S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky · Silent Hill: Homecoming · Saints Row 2 · Dead Space · Fable II · Fallout 3 · Guitar Hero: World Tour · Mirror's Edge · Left 4 Dead · Sonic Unleashed · The Year in Review - 2008 · Prince of Persia
2009
Q1 Awards for 2008 · Tomb Raider: Underworld · Far Cry 2 · Gears of War 2 · LittleBigPlanet · Thief: The Dark Project · Skate 2 · F.E.A.R. 2 · Spider-Man: Web of Shadows · The House of the Dead: Overkill · 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand · Resident Evil 5
Q2 X-Blades/Halo Wars · Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars · MadWorld · Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X · Siren: Blood Curse · The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena · Valkyria Chronicles · Velvet Assassin · Duke Nukem Forever · Bionic Commando · InFamous · The Second Annual E3 Hype Massacre · Prototype
Q3 The Sims 3 · Ghostbusters: The Video Game · Overlord 2 · Red Faction Guerrilla · Wii Sports Resort · Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood · The Conduit · Silent Hill 2 · 2.5-D Hoedown · Tales of Monkey Island · Wolfenstein · Batman: Arkham Asylum · Beatles Rock Band & Guitar Hero 5 · Darkest of Days
Q4 Scribblenauts · Wet · Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story · Brutal Legend · Washington D.C. · Uncharted 2: Among Thieves · Dragon Age: Origins · Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 · Assassin's Creed 2 · Left 4 Dead 2 & New Super Mario Bros. Wii · Demon's Souls · Holiday 2009 · The Saboteur
2010
Q1 Awards for 2009 · Torchlight · Darksiders · Bayonetta · Dark Void · Borderlands · Mass Effect 2 · Dante's Inferno · BioShock 2 · Aliens vs Predator · Heavy Rain · Battlefield: Bad Company 2 · Final Fantasy XIII
Q2 April Fools 2010 · God of War III · Red Steel 2 · Just Cause 2 · Silent Hill: Shattered Memories · Splinter Cell: Conviction · Nier · Dead to Rights: Retribution · Monster Hunter Tri · Alan Wake · Red Dead Redemption · Alpha Protocol · Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands · E3 2010
Q3 No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle · Super Mario Galaxy 2 · Singularity · Crackdown 2 · DeathSpank & Limbo · Shadow of the Colossus · Split Second: Velocity · Transformers: War for Cybertron · Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days · Mafia II · Metroid: Other M · Video Game Voters Network · Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Q4 Halo: Reach · Dead Rising 2 · Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions · Castlevania: Lords of Shadow · Enslaved: Odyssey to the West · Fallout: New Vegas · Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II · Call of Duty: Black Ops · IPhone Games · Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood · Splatterhouse · Epic Mickey · Holiday 2010
2011 - 2014
2011
Q1 Top 5 of 2010 · World of Warcraft: Cataclysm · Fable III · Minecraft · A Shadow's Tale · Dead Space 2 · DC Universe Online · MindJack · Two Worlds II · Bulletstorm · Killzone 3 · Kirby's Epic Yarn · Dragon Age II
Q2 Pokémon White · Yakuza 4 · Crysis 2 · Nintendo 3DS · Portal 2 · Castlevania: Symphony of the Night · Mortal Kombat · Brink · L.A. Noire · The Witcher 2 · Hunted: The Demon's Forge · Duke Nukem Forever (for real this time) · InFamous 2
Q3 Alice: Madness Returns · Shadows of the Damned · F.E.A.R. 3 · The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D · Call of Juarez: The Cartel · Bastion and From Dust · Catherine · Red Faction: Armageddon · Deus Ex · Deus Ex: Human Revolution · Driver: San Francisco · Dead Island · Resistance 3
Q4 Gears of War 3 · Hard Reset · Rage · Kinect · Batman: Arkham City · Battlefield 3 · Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception · Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 · The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim · Saints Row: The Third · Assassin's Creed: Revelations · The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
2012
Q1 Serious Sam 3: BFE · Top 5 of 2011 · Super Mario 3D Land & Rayman Origins · Sonic Generations · Star Wars: The Old Republic · Amy · Resident Evil: Revelations · Darkness 2 · Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning · NeverDead · Syndicate · Mass Effect 3 · Twisted Metal
Q2 Yakuza: Dead Souls · Ninja Gaiden 3 · Silent Hill: Downpour · Kid Icarus: Uprising · Fez and I Am Alive · Prototype 2 · Risen 2: Dark Waters · Sniper Elite V2 · Diablo 3 · Max Payne 3 · Dragon's Dogma · E3 2012 · Lollipop Chainsaw
Q3 Quantum Conundrum · Spec Ops: The Line · Walking Dead · Inversion · The Amazing Spider-Man · Half-Life · Wreckateer and Deadlight · Steam Roundup · Sleeping Dogs · Darksiders 2 · DayZ · Guild Wars 2
Q4 Borderlands 2 · FIFA 13 · Resident Evil 6 · Dishonored · XCOM: Enemy Unknown · Medal of Honor: Warfighter & Doom 3: BFG Edition · Assassin's Creed 3 · Halo 4 · Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 · Hitman: Absolution · Far Cry 3 · ZombiU
2013
Q1 Top 5 of 2012 · Paper Mario: Sticker Star · Black Knight Sword & Hotline Miami · Anarchy Reigns · DMC: Devil May Cry · The Cave · Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch · Dead Space 3 · Aliens: Colonial Marines · Crysis 3 · Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance · Tomb Raider · SimCity
Q2 The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct · BioShock Infinite · Lego City Undercover · Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon · Injustice: Gods Among Us · Star Trek · Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon · System Shock 2 · Metro: Last Light · Next Gen Buyer's Guide · Fuse · Remember Me · E3 2013
Q3 The Last of Us · Deadpool · Animal Crossing: New Leaf · Ride to Hell: Retribution · Dark · Mario & Luigi: Dream Team · Rise of the Triad · Papers, Please & Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons · Pikmin 3 · The Bureau: XCOM Declassified · Saints Row 4 · Killer is Dead · Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Q4 Grand Theft Auto V · Lost Planet 3 · Beyond: Two Souls · The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD · Batman: Arkham Origins · Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag · Call of Duty: Ghosts · Exclusives Showdown · Ryse: Son of Rome · Dead Rising 3 · Super Mario 3D World
2014
Q1 Top 5 of 2013 · Knack · Killzone: Shadow Fall · Survival Special · Broken Age · Might & Magic X: Legacy · The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds · Dark Souls · Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII · Strider · Thief · Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 · Dark Souls II
Q2 Titanfall · InFamous: Second Son · Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes · The Elder Scrolls Online · South Park: The Stick of Truth · FTL: Faster Than Light · Child of Day-Light · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure · Wolfenstein: The New Order · WATCH DOGS · E3 2014 · Murdered: Soul Suspect
Q3 Tomodachi Life · Enemy Front & Valiant Hearts: The Great War · Shovel Knight · EarthBound · Transistor · E.T. · Firefall · Sacred 3 · Risen 3: Titan Lords · Daikatana · Lichdom: Battlemage · The Sims 4 · Destiny
Q4 D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die · Hyrule Warriors · Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor · Alien Isolation · The Evil Within · Bayonetta 2 · Sunset Overdrive · Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare · Assassin's Creed: Unity · Far Cry 4 · Dragon Age: Inquisition · Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric · Top 5 Games of 2014
2015 - 2017
2015
Q1 The Talos Principle · Elite: Dangerous · Five Nights at Freddy's and This War of Mine · Lords of the Fallen · Saints Row: Gat out of Hell · Dying Light · Grim Fandango · Evolve · The Order: 1886 · The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D · Resident Evil Revelations 2 · Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number & Ori and the Blind Forest
Q2 Battlefield: Hardline · Bloodborne · Half-Life 2 Update · Axiom Verge & Stealth Inc 2 · Mortal Kombat X · Grand Theft Auto Online · Broken Age: Act 2 · Wolfenstein: The Old Blood · Cyberpunk Double · The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt · Splatoon · Hatred · E3 2015
Q3 Alone in the Dark: Illumination · Batman: Arkham Knight · Yoshi's Woolly World · Cave Story · Godzilla · Rocket League & Tembo the Badass Elephant · King's Quest: A Knight to Remember · Nom Nom Galaxy & Freedom Planet · Everybody's Gone To The Rapture · Volume · Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain · Mad Max · Gears of War Ultimate Edition · Until Dawn
Q4 Super Mario Maker · SOMA · Rock Band 4 · Assassin's Creed Syndicate · Halo 5: Guardians · Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 · Rise of the Tomb Raider · Fallout 4 · Star Wars: Battlefront · Just Cause 3 · Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water
2016
Q1 Top 5 Games of 2015 · Devil's Third · Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam · Assassin's Creed Chronicles · Xenoblade Chronicles X · The Witness & Bombshell · Gravity Rush · XCOM 2 · Firewatch & Layers of Fear · Far Cry Primal · Stardew Valley & SUPERHOT · The Division · Salt and Sanctuary
Q2 Republique · Shadow Warrior · Quantum Break · Dark Souls III · Ratchet & Clank · Star Fox Zero · Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door · Uncharted 4: A Thief's End · Doom · Homefront: The Revolution · Overwatch & Battleborn · Mirror's Edge: Catalyst · E3 2016
Q3 Mighty No. 9 · Inside & Shadow of the Beast · The Technomancer · Furi & Song of the Deep · I Am Setsuna · Headlander & Quadrilateral Cowboy · Quake · No Man's Sky · Grow Up · Deus Ex: Mankind Divided · Metroid Prime: Federation Force · The Curious Expedition & Mother Russia Bleeds · ReCore
Q4 Capcom Five · Clustertruck & Lichtspeer · Paper Mario: Color Splash · Mafia III · Gears of War 4 · PlayStation VR · Battlefield 1 · Titanfall 2 vs Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare · Dishonored 2 · WATCH DOGS 2 · Final Fantasy XV · The Last Guardian
2017
Q1 Top 5 Games of 2016 · Let It Die · Dead Rising 4 · Hitman · Gravity Rush 2 · Resident Evil 7 · Yakuza 0 · Nioh · For Honor · Nintendo Switch & Breath of the Wild · Horizon Zero Dawn · Nier Automata

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.