FANDOM


This week, the Critic with a Mouth takes on the Merc with a Mouth.

TranscriptEdit

You don't see a lot of straight comedy in AAA games these days, do you, like your Monkey Islands or your Conker's Bad Fur Day or your Kane & Lynch 2. Oh you'll see a lot of comedy bits in AAA games, but on the whole they treat humour like kids poking at roadkill with a very long stick. None of them want to scrape up the roadkill and try wearing it like a scarf. They'll put on a silly hat while browsing at the shops but then they'll hear a low oscillating drone and go "The mother ship is calling us, we must return to make grey-brown industrial areas and put glowing bits on somebody's armour."

"Comedy?" go the AAA purse-string holders. "Nah, there'll be more money in a game about an already popular character who shoots people a lot." "How about Deadpool? He's a popular comic book character who shoots people a lot." "Great, here's some money." "Ha ha! Fooled you, AAA purse-string holder! Deadpool is also a comedy character!" "D'oh, you wiley sods!"

Course, when I say "comedy", I mean "a mixture of non sequitor and smarmy self-reference often mistaken for comedy by the same sort of people who describes themselves as random." A bunny with a pancake? Yeah that was pretty random, well done. I can be random too, listen: "Fuck off, you perenial shitstain!" Oh sorry, I did that wrong.

Deadpool is a comedy character for superhero comics, and superhero comics do comedy the same way superhero comics do action, drama, costume design and pretty much everything: overdoing it to the point of meaninglessness. So Deadpool underwent your standard comic book unethical lab experiment and acquired your standard comic book suite of superpowers, but it also drove him cuh-razy! So he was sectioned under the mental health act and spent the rest of his life being shifted from care home to care home, mumbling to himself and playing with his own shit. Not really, that wouldn't be funny. Actually he's the fun kind of crazy who acts wildly inappropriately and uses the word "teh" instead of "the."

Deadpool the game is basically a prolonged opportunity for Deadpool to fanny about, channeling Bugs Bunny, infuriating other more sensible characters from the Marvel universe and accidentally getting imbroiled in a token effort to end the token schemes of a token villain called... ugh, Mister Sinister, the kind of ninth grade character Marvel Comics would have been willing to let be humiliated for this kind of project.

You know, perhaps the reason why AAA games don't do comedy is because AAA is all about repetition, and comedy and repetition get along like a quipping cartoon mouse in a tarantula habitat. Deadpool has what I have come to call "the Spider-Man video game syndrome" in that they try to bring across the character's effervescent personality by having him regularly throw out an appropriate quip every now and again in combat, but the trouble with that is that it really doesn't take long to have heard every line from the small pool of quips and then the pool has no more life in it. It is a dead pool! And the lines that were funny once at best go from really flat to excruciatingly annoying.

Being repetitively funny is the lost cause for which Family Guy has constantly fought a losing battle, but I never said that Deadpool is completely unfunny. To go back to an earlier metaphor, Family Guy takes the roadkill of comedy, throws it in the middle of the room and commands us to sit and watch it as it gathers flies and its stench soaks into the carpet, whereas Deadpool understands that the best way to counteract the witlessness of its humour is to keep a fast enough pace that we can't think about it for very long. In the not-repeated cutscenes, Deadpool takes that roadkill and runs from room to room smacking people with it, ruining their formal dresses and making burbling noises with his mouth. So the humour's coming together when the game's sprinting between zany, madcap setpieces but when the pace drops... well, I wouldn't say it falls apart exactly, but, if it were a cake, I wouldn't trust it to cleanly transfer to a serving platter, I'll tell you that.

The environments are mostly sewers, ruined buildings and industrial areas, the Holy Trinity of boring environment design but I suppose this is the point where we start throwing around the word "irony" in blatant disregard for its meaning! The excessive violence probably falls under the same banner but the thing about ironic excessive violence in video games is that it's kind of indistignuishable from standard operation procedure. And Deadpool's combat gameplay is about as bog-standard as kitchen-sink hack-'n'-slash gets; light attacks, strong attacks, dodge-counter combo, there's a slower melee weapon and a faster melee weapon in case you're some kind of on-call heart surgeon and your time is really bloody important, and for guns, pistols, shotguns and SMGs. I'm pretty sure the new Microsoft Word will create the design document for this if you press Shift-Control-F5.

I'm not saying it's not functional, even fun, controversially. It tends to go backwards and forwards between cathartically simple and frustratingly hard, a factor that usually comes down to how many "twatting bastardy pancakes, this is random humour, hope everyone's enjoying it," enemies with guns there are in a mostly melee fight, the ones who keep backing up when you're trying to stab them like they don't want chunky-style marmalade instead of reproductive organs. But a standard boss fight is just a normal-sized dude in a stupid outfit, and a final boss fight might go so far as to have 4 normal-sized dudes in stupid outfits.

If there were any game where the ending to Metal Gear Rising might have fit, it would be this one. Where's Deadpool's giant robot spider fight and shirtless wrestling match with Senator Super Saiyan Seven? It just seems like the story's trying to be all self-aware and periodic of video games and tweak the nose of all those righteous stuffed spandex types that run around in superhero comics taking things seriously all over the place, but then the cutscenes end and the mechanics are all like "Alright, you've had your fun. Now stand in a room and fight twenty more guys. Look, if you hit them hard enough, they explode! See, we can be fun!"

Basically if you took out Deadpool the character and everything that comes with it, then what's left is unadventurous at best, but then that explains why they didn't title it "The Marvel Universe Hacky Slashy Ruin Buildings Funtime Hour". So it's possible that Deadpool will carry it for you, there's still a lot of room for comedy games that employ actual wit like Portal, rather than ones that just run up and shout "Banana!" at people. But if you liked Deadpool from the comic books, then you'll be pleased to hear he makes the transition fairly unscathed, which is more than the film industry will do!

Hey comic books, why don't you stop hopping into that big cold film industry bed and come snuggle up by the fire with games on a more permanent basis? You know all he can offer is Green Lanterns and Catwomans and he's just gonna waft you out like a Dutch oven the moment you stop making money. We'll never ask you to change for us. The Arkham games will let you have all the dumb villains you can come up with. Oh don't be like that, baby! Superman 64 was years ago!

AddendaEdit

Never one to be out-randomed: Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw

Walk your dog by the side of it and let him piss in it and that'll be a fairly dead pool pretty soon

Why don't we just replace full stops with "lol" lol

ScreenshotsEdit

Deadpool1

"None of them want to scrape up the roadkill and try wearing it like a scarf."

Deadpool2

"Fuck off, you perenial shitstain!"

Deadpool3

"Where's Deadpool's giant robot spider fight and shirtless wrestling match with Senator Super Saiyan Seven?"

Episodes
2007 - 2010
2007
Q3 The Darkness Demo · Fable: The Lost Chapters · Zero Punctuation (Episode) · Heavenly Sword and Other Stuff · Psychonauts · Console Rundown · BioShock · Tomb Raider: Anniversary · Manhunt · Peggle
Q4 Halo 3 · Tabula Rasa · The Orange Box · Super Paper Mario · Medal of Honor: Airborne · The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass · Clive Barker's Jericho · F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate · Assassin's Creed · Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock · Mass Effect
2008
Q1 Super Mario Galaxy · Silent Hill: Origins · Crysis · The Witcher · Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles · Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare · SimCity Societies · Yahtzee Goes to GDC · Uncharted: Drake's Fortune · Devil May Cry 4 · Burnout: Paradise · Turok · Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure
Q2 Army of Two · No More Heroes · Condemned 2: Bloodshot · Super Smash Bros. Brawl · God of War: Chains of Olympus · Mailbag Showdown · Grand Theft Auto IV · Painkiller · The World Ends With You · The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion · Haze · Metal Gear Solid 4
Q3 Webcomics · Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures · Alone in the Dark · Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures · The E3 Trailer Park · Ninja Gaiden II · Prince of Persia Retrospective · Soulcalibur IV · Braid · EVE Online · Too Human · Spore · XBLA Double Bill
Q4 Mercenaries 2: World in Flames · Star Wars: The Force Unleashed · S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Clear Sky · Silent Hill: Homecoming · Saints Row 2 · Dead Space · Fable II · Fallout 3 · Guitar Hero: World Tour · Mirror's Edge · Left 4 Dead · Sonic Unleashed · The Year in Review - 2008 · Prince of Persia
2009
Q1 Awards for 2008 · Tomb Raider: Underworld · Far Cry 2 · Gears of War 2 · LittleBigPlanet · Thief: The Dark Project · Skate 2 · F.E.A.R. 2 · Spider-Man: Web of Shadows · The House of the Dead: Overkill · 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand · Resident Evil 5
Q2 X-Blades/Halo Wars · Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars · MadWorld · Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X · Siren: Blood Curse · The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena · Valkyria Chronicles · Velvet Assassin · Duke Nukem Forever · Bionic Commando · InFamous · The Second Annual E3 Hype Massacre · Prototype
Q3 The Sims 3 · Ghostbusters: The Video Game · Overlord 2 · Red Faction Guerrilla · Wii Sports Resort · Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood · The Conduit · Silent Hill 2 · 2.5-D Hoedown · Tales of Monkey Island · Wolfenstein · Batman: Arkham Asylum · Beatles Rock Band & Guitar Hero 5 · Darkest of Days
Q4 Scribblenauts · Wet · Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story · Brutal Legend · Washington D.C. · Uncharted 2: Among Thieves · Dragon Age: Origins · Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 · Assassin's Creed 2 · Left 4 Dead 2 & New Super Mario Bros. Wii · Demon's Souls · Holiday 2009 · The Saboteur
2010
Q1 Awards for 2009 · Torchlight · Darksiders · Bayonetta · Dark Void · Borderlands · Mass Effect 2 · Dante's Inferno · BioShock 2 · Aliens vs Predator · Heavy Rain · Battlefield: Bad Company 2 · Final Fantasy XIII
Q2 April Fools 2010 · God of War III · Red Steel 2 · Just Cause 2 · Silent Hill: Shattered Memories · Splinter Cell: Conviction · Nier · Dead to Rights: Retribution · Monster Hunter Tri · Alan Wake · Red Dead Redemption · Alpha Protocol · Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands · E3 2010
Q3 No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle · Super Mario Galaxy 2 · Singularity · Crackdown 2 · DeathSpank & Limbo · Shadow of the Colossus · Split Second: Velocity · Transformers: War for Cybertron · Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days · Mafia II · Metroid: Other M · Video Game Voters Network · Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Q4 Halo: Reach · Dead Rising 2 · Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions · Castlevania: Lords of Shadow · Enslaved: Odyssey to the West · Fallout: New Vegas · Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II · Call of Duty: Black Ops · IPhone Games · Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood · Splatterhouse · Epic Mickey · Holiday 2010
2011 - 2014
2011
Q1 Top 5 of 2010 · World of Warcraft: Cataclysm · Fable III · Minecraft · A Shadow's Tale · Dead Space 2 · DC Universe Online · MindJack · Two Worlds II · Bulletstorm · Killzone 3 · Kirby's Epic Yarn · Dragon Age II
Q2 Pokémon White · Yakuza 4 · Crysis 2 · Nintendo 3DS · Portal 2 · Castlevania: Symphony of the Night · Mortal Kombat · Brink · L.A. Noire · The Witcher 2 · Hunted: The Demon's Forge · Duke Nukem Forever (for real this time) · InFamous 2
Q3 Alice: Madness Returns · Shadows of the Damned · F.E.A.R. 3 · The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D · Call of Juarez: The Cartel · Bastion and From Dust · Catherine · Red Faction: Armageddon · Deus Ex · Deus Ex: Human Revolution · Driver: San Francisco · Dead Island · Resistance 3
Q4 Gears of War 3 · Hard Reset · Rage · Kinect · Batman: Arkham City · Battlefield 3 · Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception · Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 · The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim · Saints Row: The Third · Assassin's Creed: Revelations · The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
2012
Q1 Serious Sam 3: BFE · Top 5 of 2011 · Super Mario 3D Land & Rayman Origins · Sonic Generations · Star Wars: The Old Republic · Amy · Resident Evil: Revelations · Darkness 2 · Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning · NeverDead · Syndicate · Mass Effect 3 · Twisted Metal
Q2 Yakuza: Dead Souls · Ninja Gaiden 3 · Silent Hill: Downpour · Kid Icarus: Uprising · Fez and I Am Alive · Prototype 2 · Risen 2: Dark Waters · Sniper Elite V2 · Diablo 3 · Max Payne 3 · Dragon's Dogma · E3 2012 · Lollipop Chainsaw
Q3 Quantum Conundrum · Spec Ops: The Line · Walking Dead · Inversion · The Amazing Spider-Man · Half-Life · Wreckateer and Deadlight · Steam Roundup · Sleeping Dogs · Darksiders 2 · DayZ · Guild Wars 2
Q4 Borderlands 2 · FIFA 13 · Resident Evil 6 · Dishonored · XCOM: Enemy Unknown · Medal of Honor: Warfighter & Doom 3: BFG Edition · Assassin's Creed 3 · Halo 4 · Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 · Hitman: Absolution · Far Cry 3 · ZombiU
2013
Q1 Top 5 of 2012 · Paper Mario: Sticker Star · Black Knight Sword & Hotline Miami · Anarchy Reigns · DMC: Devil May Cry · The Cave · Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch · Dead Space 3 · Aliens: Colonial Marines · Crysis 3 · Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance · Tomb Raider · SimCity
Q2 The Walking Dead: Survival Instinct · BioShock Infinite · Lego City Undercover · Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon · Injustice: Gods Among Us · Star Trek · Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon · System Shock 2 · Metro: Last Light · Next Gen Buyer's Guide · Fuse · Remember Me · E3 2013
Q3 The Last of Us · Deadpool · Animal Crossing: New Leaf · Ride to Hell: Retribution · Dark · Mario & Luigi: Dream Team · Rise of the Triad · Papers, Please & Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons · Pikmin 3 · The Bureau: XCOM Declassified · Saints Row 4 · Killer is Dead · Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs
Q4 Grand Theft Auto V · Lost Planet 3 · Beyond: Two Souls · The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD · Batman: Arkham Origins · Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag · Call of Duty: Ghosts · Exclusives Showdown · Ryse: Son of Rome · Dead Rising 3 · Super Mario 3D World
2014
Q1 Top 5 of 2013 · Knack · Killzone: Shadow Fall · Survival Special · Broken Age · Might & Magic X: Legacy · The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds · Dark Souls · Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII · Strider · Thief · Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2 · Dark Souls II
Q2 Titanfall · InFamous: Second Son · Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes · The Elder Scrolls Online · South Park: The Stick of Truth · FTL: Faster Than Light · Child of Day-Light · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Tesla Effect: A Tex Murphy Adventure · Wolfenstein: The New Order · WATCH DOGS · E3 2014 · Murdered: Soul Suspect
Q3 Tomodachi Life · Enemy Front & Valiant Hearts: The Great War · Shovel Knight · EarthBound · Transistor · E.T. · Firefall · Sacred 3 · Risen 3: Titan Lords · Daikatana · Lichdom: Battlemage · The Sims 4 · Destiny
Q4 D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die · Hyrule Warriors · Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor · Alien Isolation · The Evil Within · Bayonetta 2 · Sunset Overdrive · Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare · Assassin's Creed: Unity · Far Cry 4 · Dragon Age: Inquisition · Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric · Top 5 Games of 2014
2015 - 2017
2015
Q1 The Talos Principle · Elite: Dangerous · Five Nights at Freddy's and This War of Mine · Lords of the Fallen · Saints Row: Gat out of Hell · Dying Light · Grim Fandango · Evolve · The Order: 1886 · The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D · Resident Evil Revelations 2 · Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number & Ori and the Blind Forest
Q2 Battlefield: Hardline · Bloodborne · Half-Life 2 Update · Axiom Verge & Stealth Inc 2 · Mortal Kombat X · Grand Theft Auto Online · Broken Age: Act 2 · Wolfenstein: The Old Blood · Cyberpunk Double · The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt · Splatoon · Hatred · E3 2015
Q3 Alone in the Dark: Illumination · Batman: Arkham Knight · Yoshi's Woolly World · Cave Story · Godzilla · Rocket League & Tembo the Badass Elephant · King's Quest: A Knight to Remember · Nom Nom Galaxy & Freedom Planet · Everybody's Gone To The Rapture · Volume · Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain · Mad Max · Gears of War Ultimate Edition · Until Dawn
Q4 Super Mario Maker · SOMA · Rock Band 4 · Assassin's Creed Syndicate · Halo 5: Guardians · Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 · Rise of the Tomb Raider · Fallout 4 · Star Wars: Battlefront · Just Cause 3 · Fatal Frame: Maiden of Black Water
2016
Q1 Top 5 Games of 2015 · Devil's Third · Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam · Assassin's Creed Chronicles · Xenoblade Chronicles X · The Witness & Bombshell · Gravity Rush · XCOM 2 · Firewatch & Layers of Fear · Far Cry Primal · Stardew Valley & SUPERHOT · The Division · Salt and Sanctuary
Q2 Republique · Shadow Warrior · Quantum Break · Dark Souls III · Ratchet & Clank · Star Fox Zero · Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door · Uncharted 4: A Thief's End · Doom · Homefront: The Revolution · Overwatch & Battleborn · Mirror's Edge: Catalyst · E3 2016
Q3 Mighty No. 9 · Inside & Shadow of the Beast · The Technomancer · Furi & Song of the Deep · I Am Setsuna · Headlander & Quadrilateral Cowboy · Quake · No Man's Sky · Grow Up · Deus Ex: Mankind Divided · Metroid Prime: Federation Force · The Curious Expedition & Mother Russia Bleeds · ReCore
Q4 Capcom Five · Clustertruck & Lichtspeer · Paper Mario: Color Splash · Mafia III · Gears of War 4 · PlayStation VR · Battlefield 1 · Titanfall 2 vs Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare · Dishonored 2 · WATCH DOGS 2 · Final Fantasy XV · The Last Guardian
2017
Q1 Top 5 Games of 2016 · Let It Die · Dead Rising 4 · Hitman · Gravity Rush 2 · Resident Evil 7 · Yakuza 0 · Nioh · For Honor · Nintendo Switch & Breath of the Wild · Horizon Zero Dawn · Nier Automata · Ghost Recon Wildlands
Q2 Mass Effect Andromeda · Yooka-Laylee · Persona 5 · Remastered Editions · Outlast 2 · Sniper: Ghost Warrior 3 · Prey · Wilson's Heart · The Surge · Injustice 2 · Vanquish · E3 2017 · Strafe
Q3 Get Even · Hollow Knight / Dead Cells

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.